I don't post often, but when I do it's about having a perfect life.

It has been more than 5 years since Ashley and I got married. It's been absolutely fantastic. I have no complaints, thus why I don't post on this blog anymore. I definitely used it as an outlet in the past to navigate through my feelings. But on Sunday I was invited to give the lesson about the importance of the Book of Mormon in Elder's Quorum, and I said something really weird. I said, "If you want an example of a perfect life, mine is it." And I don't mean to say that I am perfect or that my family is perfect. I mean to say that my life is pretty darn near perfect. Let me tell you why.

• I have an absolutely amazing wife. She does so much for me on a daily basis that I'll never be able to repay her.
• I have never really had to worry about finances. The Lord has always blessed me with enough and to spare.
• I live the gospel.
• I live and have lived a life of fidelity.
• I have never smoked.
• I have never drank alcohol.
• I keep the word of wisdom.
• I exercise.
• I've never broken a bone.
• Whenever I've come to age on a concept I've respected that authority and right (like driving or voting).
• I've never been pulled over or been in a reported accident (two dings and an Italian parking ticket).
• I give service to my family and my neighbors.
• I teach my children.
• I put my family first.
• I have a keen mind.
• My children are respectful and loving

I've always had a very strange pride cycle. It's never been my intention to win during soccer games, t ball games, ultimate games, football games, hockey games, tennis games, racquetball games, golf games, crocket games, volleyball games, and the list goes on and on. It's always been my intention instead to win at life. Because of that I've never really been in a position where my pride has made me become bitter towards others or offended beyond redemption. Because after a grave offense or turmoil my pride kicks in and says, you are gonna win at life, you are gonna be the best at it. And to be best at life means to do the hardest thing, which when it comes to human relationships, is attempting to mend those relationships. Because of this pride I get along with most people. I've never wanted to get out of the 'easy' class at school. I've never went to my teacher crying for extra credit, because I know the race is much longer than those temporal goals.

However, my pride cycle does get me into trouble. And I can see it happen. Whenever I get into a state of complacency or joy in my life I just naturally start to lose heart. I get bored. I start to get annoyed. This definitely manifested itself during my mission. With every companion I started out nice and strong, ever new area I was determined to be awesome. But then slowly as the 'honeymoon' phase died down I just kept getting annoyed at life. This has even happened in marriage.

So sure I've got some internal struggles, and I keep getting better and keep setting goals to obtain that 'betterness'. But my life is perfect. This isn't even to mention the talents that I've acquired over the years. That list is huge!

But you know what? If it all came crashing down, I have the assurance that my family is sealed for time and all eternity. I have the knowledge that life isn't fair, but eternity is. And what's more, our human understanding of the word fair falls far below the Godly understanding of what fair means. We don't recognize all the 'good' things that we do, because we beat ourselves up so much about the 1 in 300 bad things we do. Every step we take towards a righteous goal or objective is a positive thing.

I am just awestruck.