Devocraft

"Genuine Inspiration"

You know that feeling after you have awoken but can still remember what you dreamt about? When that happens to me the dream keeps going. My brain adds onto it. I have this very good ability to day dream that I can tap into whenever I want. Give me a premise to a story and my brain will take it away. The problem is deciding. I'm really bad at decision making.

I took a nap today and so can't make the decision to go to sleep. I started facebook messaging a friend who told me to write about a few things. I think I'll take up her advice.

How do I plan to teach my kids? I'm the kind of person that allows people to make mistakes and learn from them. I always ask people... now how could you have done better? What do you think happened there? I ask others how I could have done better. This is the type of teaching method that I want to use with my kids. I want them to feel comfortable making mistakes instead of pleasing dad. When they ask me how to do something I'll show them. A picture of my future kid just came into my head. I can see myself reading at the dining room table and my future son comes in and starts grabbing ingredients. I get curious of course and ask him, "Hey. What are you making?" He'll respond something. I'm gonna let him do it. If he asks for help I'll help but otherwise I plan to sit back and watch him, perhaps able to learn something. If he starts doing something that could possibly cause collateral damage I'll point it out. I'll be looking forward to a mess of flour. If everything turns out right then it'll be a job well done. I'm really looking forward to a lot of laughter and joy from my kids. I really want to be a big jungle gym for them. I have that image in my head as well. I want to discipline them when they do something wrong, not when they do something different. I want to teach them the principles of the gospel and let them govern themselves. I want them to win. And when they beat me at the things that I know how to do I will step back and be proud. I will encourage them to go for the gold. I want to respect them when they respect me. I want to give them opportunity and provide the joys of knowledge. I want to teach them in an interactive way with conversation and not lecturing. I want them to know they have a best friend in their dad. I want to be there for them, putting them the third highest priority in my life. I want to be willing to sacrifice everything for them. I want to be able to provide answers to their questions about life. I don't want to fear talking with them about certain things. I don't want to become unrighteously angry at them, but always with reason and afterwards show an increase in love and appreciation so that they do not esteem me their enemy. I want my house to be a safe haven for my children. I want them to feel comfortable and in the spirit. I want I want I want...

Wow, I never knew I wanted so much out of being able to have children. That's probably why I have this internal super desire that kind of controls my behavior to become the person meant for this job and calling.

What are my biggest fears? My biggest fears lay in the inability to help others. I'm terrified of not being able to help someone I care about. Two situations that I have thought about often are when someone is tired. I wish that I could give them energy. I wish I could impart into their spirit a breathe of life. What will happen when my wife is dead tired and there is nothing I can do for her? That is going to put a strain on my heart. But it's something I must be strong of. The other situation is quite hypothetical. If you were a school bus driver and your spouse usually was at a stop that you drove by every morning but for some reason they weren't there this morning, what would you do? Now that I think about it how many dangerous situations will my children be placed in that I won't be able to protect them from? The only thing I can do is teach them and be of a good influence beforehand so that they will make good decisions in bad situations that will not jeopardize their salvation. I will need to think about this more...