After thinking about the movie that we made at goblin valley I like the idea of making movies whenever I go on an outing.
I was reading when all of a sudden the next idea popped into my head.
We are making a drug/alcohol recovery documentary and how the various activities have helped the participants gain self worth/etc.
Devocraft: The average life of a programmer in love.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Standing for Something
I had the opportunity to go to UVU to film a video for my sister and the math lab, in which she works. I had on BYU attire. My pants had the BYU label on them. My jacket was blue with white stripes. My shirt was advertising BYU basketball. I was decked.
I started thinking about how the people were perceiving me. Was there anyone that hated BYU because of some reason?
I was walking along the sidewalk on the road with two guys in front of me who just didn't walk as fast. I passed them and kept walking. It occurred to me that I needed to set an example. It would be very possible for someone to be rubbed the wrong way by how I kept myself or how I behaved.
So let's get serious. Is it really that big of a deal to be worried about? Especially from another school's opinion?
It made me think about who I represent. How do I keep myself all the time? Who am I representing? Whose name should I carry in my countenance and actions and words and deeds every second of every moment of every day? Do people notice? Do people realize?
I started thinking about how the people were perceiving me. Was there anyone that hated BYU because of some reason?
I was walking along the sidewalk on the road with two guys in front of me who just didn't walk as fast. I passed them and kept walking. It occurred to me that I needed to set an example. It would be very possible for someone to be rubbed the wrong way by how I kept myself or how I behaved.
So let's get serious. Is it really that big of a deal to be worried about? Especially from another school's opinion?
It made me think about who I represent. How do I keep myself all the time? Who am I representing? Whose name should I carry in my countenance and actions and words and deeds every second of every moment of every day? Do people notice? Do people realize?
Focus
It is incredibly hard for me to focus I've found. I have to have some thing that I am doing with my hands to be able to focus on what I'm doing. I cannot properly combine the actions of playing with a hands-on material object and also think about other things going on.
The same concept comes when I miss someone.
As far as other topics.
I'm thinking slightly about books and entertainment and stuff.
Romance
Sci-Fi
Fantasy
Fiction
Historical
Text book
Instructional
Guide
Dictionary
I just can't focus.
The same concept comes when I miss someone.
As far as other topics.
I'm thinking slightly about books and entertainment and stuff.
Romance
Sci-Fi
Fantasy
Fiction
Historical
Text book
Instructional
Guide
Dictionary
I just can't focus.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Thoughts
I've been snowboarding a lot this season and it makes me think about how we learn to do things and about how we learn what we enjoy to do or not. It has been such a different journey than what I am used to, learning how to snowboard. It requires you to always be on your toes or your heals. It deals with how you prefer your bindings and how tight they are on your feet. It requires you to balance but not overly. It requires you to be on your guard should something happen to the ground that you board on. There are different conditions and different kinds of hazards and most of all, for me at least, a whole lot of tumbling head over heels on myself after a big biff and face full of snow, crusting itself to my face and blocking my nasal cavity. It has been a learning and growing process and I can honestly say that I have put a ton of effort into it. I knew at the beginning of the season that most of the time I would go boarding alone, learning from my mistakes and making a big fool of myself out there on the snow. I was right. It's been a lonely rode.
Even when I was learning how to ice skate it was easier because I had a brother to turn to who knew the ropes. He taught me about sticks and helmets and gloves and how to stop and other skating techniques. I had a teacher. Even though the process for ice hockey has been much slower it still felt easier because I had someone there to help. I had friends in my class. I still have friends in my class, thanks to getting to know them by names. We have Thomas and Dave and Cha Chi and Kevin and Chris and Mark. It's been good already.
It requires patience... I keep thinking about the things that I need to be patient for. There is the one really big question that is constantly on my mind that I keep discussing with the Lord. By all logical reasoning at this point it doesn't make sense but yet I still feel like I need to go in that direction. I don't understand it. It requires patience.
My decisions:
The big question obviously is marriage and how I should approach it, if even at all. I feel prompted in this one direction and so going in any other direction makes me feel like I know it will come to naught and I don't want to cause anyone that hard ache. I want to save myself completely for whomever I marry. I want to share everything with them and be there for them and help them out with anything and I feel like I cannot do that unless I save myself for them. Eternity is a big big commitment which requires work and of course, patience. So how will I know? I'll follow the prompting till I get a different one. Believe me when I say I talk it over with the Lord again and again trying to figure out why He would like me to proceed in this direction. What is so special about it? Why does it logically not make sense?
I almost say that that is my problem, logic. I'm being so stuffed with logic that maybe I've lost feeling and am just trying to go on mechanics. I feel this isn't the case in real life but when I think too hard on something I see how it could affect me which brings me to the next one,
Philosophy and Corporate Law. I feel this is the way for me to go. Once I decided I haven't had a second thought. Normally I do have second thoughts, analyzing the situation and determining the best course of action for me and my friends. I would love to work at a firm patenting their products and taking care of their legal situations. My dream job of course would be a personal secretary, who gets done whatever my employer wants me to do. I love figuring out new things and putting myself to the task of figuring out a way, especially in real life problems. I feel I will be able to do this by pursuing this line of work. I'm way excited about it.
My life revolves around these two decisions at the moment. Of course I am playing hockey and frisbee and going snowboarding but the point of my existence is to prepare for corporate law and to be an eternal companion. Luckily I have a loving family that supports me in these actions. Patience.
There are big problems which can be divided up into small problems.
Marriage:
Preparation: Become the type of person that I would want to marry, reliable, loyal, loving, forgiving, caring, putting God first, courageous, pensive, and of course the very small details that don't really matter like learning how to cook and do the laundry and diligence in the dishes and trash and repairing the house and gardening and landscaping. I feel like I have a wide range and variety of skills when it comes to all these, even in sewing and mending. I need to put each of these qualities as a priority in my life at different times so that I can work on them.
Corporate law:
Be a logical thinker. Luckily this decision is so easily broken down you could schedule each day to accomplish a thing leading up to the final goal. I think that would be going overboard but it is possible thanks to due dates and test exam dates and specific requirements required for graduation then narrowing it down to which classes and which test exam dates for those classes and homework assignment due dates and what times of day you are going to study them. If I wanted to I could sit down for a day and completely plan out my life, but that wouldn't be very good for my preferred balance of anarchy and order in my life.
Sometimes it is just nice to write things down. I don't expect anyone to be there. Who can? It's impossible to fill a void in a human being. Only God can do that and when I put Him first, I can do anything.
Even when I was learning how to ice skate it was easier because I had a brother to turn to who knew the ropes. He taught me about sticks and helmets and gloves and how to stop and other skating techniques. I had a teacher. Even though the process for ice hockey has been much slower it still felt easier because I had someone there to help. I had friends in my class. I still have friends in my class, thanks to getting to know them by names. We have Thomas and Dave and Cha Chi and Kevin and Chris and Mark. It's been good already.
It requires patience... I keep thinking about the things that I need to be patient for. There is the one really big question that is constantly on my mind that I keep discussing with the Lord. By all logical reasoning at this point it doesn't make sense but yet I still feel like I need to go in that direction. I don't understand it. It requires patience.
My decisions:
The big question obviously is marriage and how I should approach it, if even at all. I feel prompted in this one direction and so going in any other direction makes me feel like I know it will come to naught and I don't want to cause anyone that hard ache. I want to save myself completely for whomever I marry. I want to share everything with them and be there for them and help them out with anything and I feel like I cannot do that unless I save myself for them. Eternity is a big big commitment which requires work and of course, patience. So how will I know? I'll follow the prompting till I get a different one. Believe me when I say I talk it over with the Lord again and again trying to figure out why He would like me to proceed in this direction. What is so special about it? Why does it logically not make sense?
I almost say that that is my problem, logic. I'm being so stuffed with logic that maybe I've lost feeling and am just trying to go on mechanics. I feel this isn't the case in real life but when I think too hard on something I see how it could affect me which brings me to the next one,
Philosophy and Corporate Law. I feel this is the way for me to go. Once I decided I haven't had a second thought. Normally I do have second thoughts, analyzing the situation and determining the best course of action for me and my friends. I would love to work at a firm patenting their products and taking care of their legal situations. My dream job of course would be a personal secretary, who gets done whatever my employer wants me to do. I love figuring out new things and putting myself to the task of figuring out a way, especially in real life problems. I feel I will be able to do this by pursuing this line of work. I'm way excited about it.
My life revolves around these two decisions at the moment. Of course I am playing hockey and frisbee and going snowboarding but the point of my existence is to prepare for corporate law and to be an eternal companion. Luckily I have a loving family that supports me in these actions. Patience.
There are big problems which can be divided up into small problems.
Marriage:
Preparation: Become the type of person that I would want to marry, reliable, loyal, loving, forgiving, caring, putting God first, courageous, pensive, and of course the very small details that don't really matter like learning how to cook and do the laundry and diligence in the dishes and trash and repairing the house and gardening and landscaping. I feel like I have a wide range and variety of skills when it comes to all these, even in sewing and mending. I need to put each of these qualities as a priority in my life at different times so that I can work on them.
Corporate law:
Be a logical thinker. Luckily this decision is so easily broken down you could schedule each day to accomplish a thing leading up to the final goal. I think that would be going overboard but it is possible thanks to due dates and test exam dates and specific requirements required for graduation then narrowing it down to which classes and which test exam dates for those classes and homework assignment due dates and what times of day you are going to study them. If I wanted to I could sit down for a day and completely plan out my life, but that wouldn't be very good for my preferred balance of anarchy and order in my life.
Sometimes it is just nice to write things down. I don't expect anyone to be there. Who can? It's impossible to fill a void in a human being. Only God can do that and when I put Him first, I can do anything.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Wishes
Shannon just texted me telling me to make a wish at 11:11:11 today on the 11th of January in 2011. That is a lot of ones!
I'm surprised at how many of my wishes fail. I have wished for so many things in my life ranging from living in a different place to having special powers or using technology that doesn't exist etc. There are many things that we can wish for but we have also have to work towards that goal. I saw a robot which was made that can actually simulate human movement, walking, and responding to commands. If you break down the problem into many smaller problems and have them all work together this is very easily possible. It just takes time, effort, and funding haha.
It makes me think about designing. I was watching inception when Leonardo says that it is more of a discovery process, just like writing in fact. Working on my book, "Wings", I've come to realize that if I were to put in all the research and do everything the professional way I would end up spending so much time that I don't have and slash don't want to use at this time in my life. I would also have to call upon resources to which I do not have access which is also a pain in the but. The possibility is there and the problem has already been divided within my mind that I could accomplish the task even if it isn't worth it to do. I'm also writing this web page for one of my classes and the possibilities seem endless. I find that I am discovering the web page as I code it or try out different ideas. If I do something that I don't like I change the format which gives me another idea, all part of the creation process.
What I am saying is that my wishes are not idle dreams. We have to pursue them. One of my best friends Mike is always telling me to pursue my dreams and wishes. He is such a support to me. I think that we should all support each other in these ways. We all have dreams and wishes and we just need people to believe in us that we can do it. It will give us the encouragement and allusion to be able to do it. It's absolutely fantastic what we can accomplish at a group effort.
I'm surprised at how many of my wishes fail. I have wished for so many things in my life ranging from living in a different place to having special powers or using technology that doesn't exist etc. There are many things that we can wish for but we have also have to work towards that goal. I saw a robot which was made that can actually simulate human movement, walking, and responding to commands. If you break down the problem into many smaller problems and have them all work together this is very easily possible. It just takes time, effort, and funding haha.
It makes me think about designing. I was watching inception when Leonardo says that it is more of a discovery process, just like writing in fact. Working on my book, "Wings", I've come to realize that if I were to put in all the research and do everything the professional way I would end up spending so much time that I don't have and slash don't want to use at this time in my life. I would also have to call upon resources to which I do not have access which is also a pain in the but. The possibility is there and the problem has already been divided within my mind that I could accomplish the task even if it isn't worth it to do. I'm also writing this web page for one of my classes and the possibilities seem endless. I find that I am discovering the web page as I code it or try out different ideas. If I do something that I don't like I change the format which gives me another idea, all part of the creation process.
What I am saying is that my wishes are not idle dreams. We have to pursue them. One of my best friends Mike is always telling me to pursue my dreams and wishes. He is such a support to me. I think that we should all support each other in these ways. We all have dreams and wishes and we just need people to believe in us that we can do it. It will give us the encouragement and allusion to be able to do it. It's absolutely fantastic what we can accomplish at a group effort.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Reminiscing
I'm trying to remember all the stuff that happened this last year.
I woke up a year ago to the sound of banging when my zone leaders were out on the porch hitting their pots and pans together. One of my ZL's actually broke one of my favorite cutting boards. I was quite upset.
Many many many things have happened since then.
We had Coco's baptism. I moved to Cagliari and had all my picture memories stolen at Termini a Roma. I had to be a zone leader over 4 cities that included 16 of us missionaries on the island of Sardegna. Pecorino is good.
I served with Elder Valenzuela and Elder Rrokaj on the island. It all went well. We were even given a bottle of wine one day because we decided to make brownies for the apartment. I had to learn how to drive a stick shift. I love them now. I learned what bang is. I learned what it meant to really be a part of the members. I'd like to say that all of my character was built because of it, that every single quality that I have has been strengthened because of what I have learned on my mission. There is too much to write about it all but after searching for people and yearning for their salvation and seeing the difference between people that really want it and others that are just being kind to listen. I had to learn how to stop fearing. There is one person that I need to please always and that is God.
After I got off my mission the best summer of my life happened with Amber. The day I saw her again at my homecoming and the little party afterwards at my house she was the last to leave. We watched Avatar slightly after that and now I feel like it's "our" movie. I can't remember if it was July 3rd or so but that started when we did so much together from watching movies to doing a puzzle or going to the bike shop or going swimming or preparing for festivities. I even had the crazy idea of bringing her her chap-stick when I had no idea where she worked. I walked around to 4 or 5 different businesses asking them if they had an employee by her name haha. Finally I found it. I still had that unstoppable feeling of missionary work. We took a big group down to Goblin Valley. What an insane idea by Chip made possible by all our friends. Both our wind shields got cracked. I was introduced to frozen yogurt. Yum yum. A great many many things have happened since then. The ward had it's super activity. That's when I started feeling inadequate again. I turned to the scriptures. I remembered who it was that I needed to please. Without His help, I am nothing. I eventually had work again. Oh I totally forgot Matteo who lived with us for a couple of months. That provides stories all on its own.
Then school started again. It's been an amazing semester. I never had a crunch time. I didn't procrastinate. I do need to work on elaborate encoding however which is making connections between what I learn and what I previously knew instead of trying to make a new spot for every piece of information. Amber and I broke up. I went on quite a few dates. I was a pretty busy bee and I always needed to remember who I was. It gave me the strength to keep going. I read quite a few books in my own time as well as at work. The Thief, Artemis Fowl, Sea of Trolls, Fellowship of the Ring, Hunger Games, Ender series, Sherlock Holmes. I even started rereading the wheel of time but out of fear of breaking the binding had to change books. Maybe I'll buy them digitally so that I don't have to worry about it.
I was able to dress up for halloween. Haven't done that in years. I took a date to the Forgotten Carols. I saw divine comedy for the first time and man it is hysterical! Eventually christmas has rolled around and the new year. I was able to participate in Bethlehem. That was fun but I'm sure I'll have better ones. There was nothing super special about these or maybe I'm just being a pessimist at the moment. Sure, there are little points of super happiness but of course they cannot last. The point is to keep pursuing those little points so that everyone can be happy together and that when sad times arise of course it's fine to cry. There are times to be sad and times to be bored and dull and exciting and outgoing. There are times to be angry. Let's just never let our anger control us.
I'm Doug. I'm 21. I'm 6 foot with red hair and can still do a lot of good. Let's do it.
I woke up a year ago to the sound of banging when my zone leaders were out on the porch hitting their pots and pans together. One of my ZL's actually broke one of my favorite cutting boards. I was quite upset.
Many many many things have happened since then.
We had Coco's baptism. I moved to Cagliari and had all my picture memories stolen at Termini a Roma. I had to be a zone leader over 4 cities that included 16 of us missionaries on the island of Sardegna. Pecorino is good.
I served with Elder Valenzuela and Elder Rrokaj on the island. It all went well. We were even given a bottle of wine one day because we decided to make brownies for the apartment. I had to learn how to drive a stick shift. I love them now. I learned what bang is. I learned what it meant to really be a part of the members. I'd like to say that all of my character was built because of it, that every single quality that I have has been strengthened because of what I have learned on my mission. There is too much to write about it all but after searching for people and yearning for their salvation and seeing the difference between people that really want it and others that are just being kind to listen. I had to learn how to stop fearing. There is one person that I need to please always and that is God.
After I got off my mission the best summer of my life happened with Amber. The day I saw her again at my homecoming and the little party afterwards at my house she was the last to leave. We watched Avatar slightly after that and now I feel like it's "our" movie. I can't remember if it was July 3rd or so but that started when we did so much together from watching movies to doing a puzzle or going to the bike shop or going swimming or preparing for festivities. I even had the crazy idea of bringing her her chap-stick when I had no idea where she worked. I walked around to 4 or 5 different businesses asking them if they had an employee by her name haha. Finally I found it. I still had that unstoppable feeling of missionary work. We took a big group down to Goblin Valley. What an insane idea by Chip made possible by all our friends. Both our wind shields got cracked. I was introduced to frozen yogurt. Yum yum. A great many many things have happened since then. The ward had it's super activity. That's when I started feeling inadequate again. I turned to the scriptures. I remembered who it was that I needed to please. Without His help, I am nothing. I eventually had work again. Oh I totally forgot Matteo who lived with us for a couple of months. That provides stories all on its own.
Then school started again. It's been an amazing semester. I never had a crunch time. I didn't procrastinate. I do need to work on elaborate encoding however which is making connections between what I learn and what I previously knew instead of trying to make a new spot for every piece of information. Amber and I broke up. I went on quite a few dates. I was a pretty busy bee and I always needed to remember who I was. It gave me the strength to keep going. I read quite a few books in my own time as well as at work. The Thief, Artemis Fowl, Sea of Trolls, Fellowship of the Ring, Hunger Games, Ender series, Sherlock Holmes. I even started rereading the wheel of time but out of fear of breaking the binding had to change books. Maybe I'll buy them digitally so that I don't have to worry about it.
I was able to dress up for halloween. Haven't done that in years. I took a date to the Forgotten Carols. I saw divine comedy for the first time and man it is hysterical! Eventually christmas has rolled around and the new year. I was able to participate in Bethlehem. That was fun but I'm sure I'll have better ones. There was nothing super special about these or maybe I'm just being a pessimist at the moment. Sure, there are little points of super happiness but of course they cannot last. The point is to keep pursuing those little points so that everyone can be happy together and that when sad times arise of course it's fine to cry. There are times to be sad and times to be bored and dull and exciting and outgoing. There are times to be angry. Let's just never let our anger control us.
I'm Doug. I'm 21. I'm 6 foot with red hair and can still do a lot of good. Let's do it.
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