Positive Influence

We all have such an influence on those around us. The last weekend has been kind of a "push to the limit" weekend for my wife. She tackled it all like a champion. I am so proud of her and her progress when it comes to doing certain extreme things.

From her amazing success it makes me reflect on the kinds of things we push ourselves to do each day that we are scared stiff of or that we just feel like we could never do. I heard a story in stake conference that really made me think about us being able to accomplish anything that comes in our way. A counselor in our stake presidency spoke about a training that he had to undergo near the end of officer training in the military. He told about how one of the major goals of the training is to teach these soon to be officers that they can do anything they put their minds to.

I've been trying to put my mind towards a variety of things. Some of the things that I have been concentrating on most are work, financial management at BYU, and the writing of music and literature. I've always wanted to be a good writer and a good composer. But I'm not. What does that mean? It means that I need to work harder at these things than others to whom it comes naturally. The thing that separates me and those amazing people out there is natural born talent and/or time spent on their respective specialty. Take me for example. I've been singing since I was a tiny baby. I have spent so many hours training my voice to become what I've wanted it to do. Because of all this time spent my voice has escalated to a respectable level. Many people have complimented me on my voice... because of the time that I've spent on it.

The time that we spend on certain talents is effected by those around us. Fear is my number reason for not developing a gift as much as I can. The scriptures actually caution grossly against this lack of indulgence in a spiritual gift. If we hide ourselves under a bushel not only will we lose that talent but we will be unable to receive others. Therefore we must surround ourselves with those that will always lift us up and help us do better. We need to learn how to push ourselves towards high goals. Line upon line precept upon precept. Here a little there a little. It's amazing how the Lord can help us accomplish so much.

With the Lords help and with an understanding of the positive influence that we can project upon the minds of those around us, I hope to learn how to be a better positive influence towards my future children and especially towards my wife. I want to learn how to help others in such a way that they can feel more confident around me and feel like they can be better. So... how do we give off that aura?

Blessed

I don't truly realize how blessed I am. This is kind of a post that expresses a deep sense of gratitude for my Heavenly Father and all the love that He has shown me.

As many know I really enjoy doing a lot of things and I have a talent to be able to do a lot of things. If I had the funds and time I would be doing even more things, but what the Lord has blessed me with is an ability to learn and think for myself. My greatest teacher is the Spirit from which I can learn many of life's lessons. The Spirit helps me think rationally about situations. It helps me overcome fears that I have in daily life when addressing complicated problems. The Spirit is one of the best gifts that I have and I wouldn't trade it for the world. It has given me a sense of hope that carries me from one lesson and life principle to the next.

The blessings bestowed upon my household are numberless. Even though I try to count and name them they still will always exceed my grasp. The reason for that is because there are blessings we have been given that we don't even know about yet. I love my wife. I love her to death.

What I wish I could impart to the world is the knowledge that we are not alone. We can learn. We can grow. I've often thought, "What would I be like if everything were taken away from me?" Would I be like Job? Would I curse the Lord my God? If I found myself in a complete rut would the circumstance provide a way to overcome my inabilities? What would a beggar need to do to come out on top? One of my key pieces of advice would be to stop any drugs or smokes. If a man can survive on bread and water then he is in good condition. I would make a sign that says will work for food. I might even go door to door asking for work so that I could buy food. People are generous with food, but they are not generous with money but after all, money is not a necessity. I believe that shelter comes after food. So once one is sustained they can try to find some sort of permanent residence. Along with that residence comes the ability to store items and collect. Try to find a stable job instead of doing freelance. I feel like as long as one has hope they can do anything, because hope leads to faith, which conquers fear, and fear is what stops us from reaching any sort of potential that we all possess as sons and daughters of God.

Moving to a different subject... I am so grateful for the Boy Scouts of America. In Scouts I had to get a certain merit badge called Family Life in order to obtain my Eagle Scout award. One of the requirements to achieve this merit badge was to make a budget. Well, the principles I learned from making that budget so long ago come into full force today. I had to make a budget last week and I was able to make it down to the nitty gritty of Ashley and my life. While before I was getting a little scared about this upcoming semester I know feel super calm and not only that, I feel like I am going to enjoy this semester a lot thanks to my darling wife... who is staring at me right now while putting on lip gloss... creepy...

Life is absolutely incredible. Never give up hope and always have the Lord on your side because his team is always going to come out on top. Can anyone give me a hypothetical design job that I could work on to help build my portfolio?

The Past Week

I actually made a goal at work to write somewhat of a journal with the main intention to strengthen my vocabulary. Honestly, I can say that my ability to spell has increased much thanks to the use of computers. I don't just use spell check but I also remember after I've spell checked something so that I can write it correctly the next time I utilize said word.

Life is absolutely amazing. School is about to start tomorrow finally. It feels like it has been a long time since I have attended university, an entire summer to be sure. When I got home from my LDS mission to Italy I attended school year round and so this has been the first time for a while in which I haven't worried about some future due date. If this is how life outside college is chain me to a wall and give my my degree.

Ashley is the love of my life. I learn that more and more every day. A couple of weeks ago we woke up and were preparing for church when I thought... I want to make a big breakfast. So I did. We constructed a wonderful meal out of ham, eggs, and pancake batter! It was glorious. I realized that no one made this breakfast for me. It was only us. I texted my mom to thank her for all the Wednesday mornings in which she made me big breakfasts and I felt so proud to be her son an in the responsible position in which I find myself currently. After all was said and done I responded with a final comment, "My marriage would not have worked out so well with any other girl." And I mean that with all my heart. I love her.

At work we are using a design that I made for a new website which is kind of nerve wracking, since a whole lot of people are going to see it. I'll probably hear comments about it when it's finally up and working. I'm kind of nervous.

This semester is going to be quite easy. Let me explain. I already know how to program and I am very good with finances. Two of my classes are regarding those principles. Two of the other classes are religion, in which case I only need to study, and the final class is History of Philosophy 2. I used to be a philosophy major and have read all the works that we will be studying, and quite recently too. Besides school I will be working 20 hours at the bookstore, playing hockey once a week for a team in the local city league, and I will be playing Ultimate Frisbee in one of the most competitive non professional programs in the country. This time of my life is so exciting due to all these events occurring. I hope to get a ton of pictures and keep the blog up to date.

I just finished creating a program that will allow me to keep track of all the hymns I pick during church. That way my ward can be introduced to a new variety of music. Each song is mapped to the topics concerning it as well so that I can match it up to the topic being spoken about in church. I'm happy with it. I wonder why the church doesn't set up a management program online for people with my calling, Ward Music Chair. Which reminds me, very funny story. When I was being set apart for the calling the second counselor in the Bishopric, speaking on behalf of God, told me not to essentially, "hog", the calling. Let's understand, I love singing, and I love performing. So way funny right? I'm trying to take that to heart. Maybe I'll give me a musical number once a semester. That doesn't sound too bad right?

I'm so excited for this next semester/season. It's going to be AWESOME!

Help me out!

I want to make a banner that includes a bunch of things that describe me like frisbees and hockey. Please comment on what makes me me and I'll make sure to put it in.

It's been a while

My wife constantly states on her blog that she doesn't stay up to date... she's got me beat like no body's business. My life has been amazing.

One cannot comprehend how incredible it feels to be in the blessed situation in which I find myself. I love my job. I love my wife. I love cooking. I love playing Ultimate. I love playing Ice Hockey. I am so looking forward to school this coming fall and am all set.

I'd like to shed a little light on the subject of my job. I work at the BYU bookstore. It's an ethereal place. Every single person that I looked at while at work today had a smile on. It's a great environment to be in. I sit in a computer lab on the third floor next to the offices and I program all day. I work with various languages, HTML, CSS, JAVASCRIPT, PHP, and C# currently. However... once you know one language you can know many others. I hope to expand that understanding to all of you in the upcoming posts.

But first! Lasagna:

Make your favorite Red Sauce!

 Then you mix Parmesian cheese with Cottage cheese. YUM! Or if you want to go the more expensive version you can mix it with Ricotta cheese.

 Make sure you have plenty of Mozzarella cheese to put on top yum!

 In your casserole dish put down a little layer of sauce. Then layer with noodles and put sauce and the Parm/Cottage blend on top then repeat.

 On top! Put all the Mozzarella. And wahlah! Breakfast!... that's a quote.

It was soo good. I hope to post other pictures of stuff.

Freaking Out

So you know those countless posts that I wrote regarding my desire to get married to the girl of my dreams? Well... all those posts are being fulfilled tomorrow. The one thing that I don't recall ever putting on any of the lists is her capacity to quote with me... but wow do I love it!

Ashley is my best friend. I can tell her anything and I love her to death. She makes me so happy and makes me feel complete. Everything is bright and sunny when she is around. And I always want her around.

That's why... this guy is freaking out! I'm doing the scariest thing that I know of tomorrow. I'm sealing the deal. I'm tying the knot. I'm eliminating my bachelorhood. The blessing of the whole situation is... it feels right. The sense of correctness is not something that anyone could take away from me. It's the most right thing that I can do and that I'll ever do. It's the biggest decision I make in this life. We'll be together forever. She'll be my number two, only after Heavenly Father. She is priority. She is the love of my life.

So now all the questions leak into my mind... will I be a good husband? Will I be able to continue to make her laugh? Will I get lazy? Will I get fat? The funny part is... those are all mind sets. I will be a good husband because I always want to get better. I will continue to make her laugh because I love life thanks to the gospel. I will not get lazy because it's not in my nature. Will I get fat? Probably a little... and then I'll probably get skinny again... it's just a way of life.

I love life thanks to these wonderful blessings and having her in my life. I love her family and feel a part of it. My love has never been so BIG! And it's hard to believe that it is. I'd do anything for her. I'd catch a grenade for her.

I'm freaking out. But that's one reason I love it. :)

Friendship

Friendship is such an interesting topic to me. Everyone is imperfect. So how are we to love others? And by loving others what does that mean that we do and think about?

How does one be a best friend? Follow the teachings of Christ. Why is that so hard? Because it is a mental battle against judgement. We cannot judge others. Of us it is commanded to love all man.

Now, we are also commanded to surround ourselves with the best company: they that uplift us, help us, encourage us, do not belittle us.

My main question is how can we learn to balance out our friendships so that they are optimal. In my personal case working with someone and having fun with someone are two different tasks. It is very hard for me to work with others yet it pretty easy to have fun with others. Why is that? Because I have different views on what counts as work. I hold myself to a weird standard of work ethic. And I care about random details at different amounts than many people around me.

One of the big questions that has been on my mind is why I don't have as much faith in others as I used to have before my mission. I used to have parties at my house every weekend. I use to enjoy others' company all the time. Now I prefer to be alone. I prefer just read and play the guitar and piano and video games. Why has this happened? What was it about my mission that destroyed my faith in others and therefor my desire to be with other people? Why have I lost that childlike love of always wanting to be with others no matter what the circumstance? Why can't I have fun with that anymore? It's just a decision. From the words of Elder Uchdorf, STOP IT!

One of the things that has brought this to my attention is my lack of wedding invitations. I know thousands upon thousands of people yet I feel like if I were to send them all invitations none of them would come. It makes me wonder about the parable of the ruler who was throwing a party and invited all the people. The difference between him and me is he sent out the invitations. He tried to befriend all of these people. I can't even bring myself to put forth the effort because of my lack of faith. Isn't that pathetic?

In my Patriarchal Blessing it reads "learn well how to use your faith." I've always wondered what these words meant. I have a ton of faith in God. I believe He can do everything and that He always keeps his promise. As so I believe in Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost and all that they represent and can do. But what I have lost my faith in is other individuals as well as myself. I have lost the faith in myself to make things fun, to pull out of hard situations, to befriend my neighbor and my brother.

So now that we have a problem, what is the solution? What is the goal? What is the final result.

I've been thinking about this process a lot lately. I am a uber-nerd. The reason that I am a uber-nerd is because I believe in Modus Ponens a lot more than others. I believe there is always an if then statement and I guide my life by them. I use logical connections to obtain the goal. I always believe in a method. That method might not have strict rules but there is always a method. And I wonder if that emulates the Plan. Heavenly Father put together a method for us to return to live with Him. Why can't we discover methods to overcome any obstacle with his help?

For example, I believe there is a method to learning how to play Frisbee, learning how to become more charitable, method to learning how to give more service, a method to change. I believe there is a method to do hard things. And I believe there is a method to find these methods. And that is through the gospel.

A very good resource that has been provided is Preach My Gospel. It's all about goal setting.

Luckily my love for a certain individual continues to grow. Ashley is the love of my life! I love her so much and always want to talk with her and do things for her. She is the most important person in my life and always will be. All my decisions need to be based on increasing my love for her. But that does not mean that I cannot become a good friend to others. Indeed, by loving others more my love for Ashley will also increase at a greater rate. I can't wait to be married to her. She helps me become better.

Another thing popped into my head. Tunnel singing. Why was it possible to go tunnel singing? Because I had faith in others showing up to sing. And if no one else showed up than sing alone, and sing loud. Another way to increase my faith.

Goals:
6 minute ab workout w/ others
go bowling w/ others
set a time to go use the glass flower coupon w/ others
ask mike about tunnel singing
give invitation to Andrew this evening
look at Provo ice skating job
look at BYU design jobs

There are a few other things that I would like to do but already I feel on cloud nine. Merely 20 minutes after making this list and setting up some goals. Ahhh... I love repentance!